“If I Die, Play This Video…”
By Antoinette Johnson

ANTOINETTE (teary-eyed): If you’re watching this… it means I’m finally free. Free from fake friends. Free from broke love. Free from stressing over Wi-Fi bills and gas prices. dramatic pause But don’t cry. Celebrate me. ‘Cause guess what? I’m not dead. I just stopped giving a damn. I stand up in a fur coat I faked my own funeral to see who was real. And some of y’all didn’t even bring flowers. Just likes. Bye.

[Text overlay: “I rose again. With a new LLC.”]