This funny Skit is for all new moms who are breastfeeding Yesss bestie! Let’s make this real, funny, and a lil over-the-top dramatic — like “Get off me, baby!”: The Breastfeeding Breakup Chronicles. 😂
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Queenflix/Realitydundiditagain/RCCOIN
By Antoinette Lavonne Johnson

🎬 SKIT TITLE: “Milkshake Withdrawal: When Baby Just Won’t Quit”

Setting:

Living room. Mom is sitting on the couch, peacefully sipping tea. Baby is crawling over with laser-focused eyes.

Script:

[OPENING SHOT]
🎵 “Milkshake” by Kelis playing faintly in the background
Text overlay: “When you’re trying to wean your baby but they think you’re still the milk machine…”

MOM (Antoinette): (in a robe, looking tired)
“Day 645 of breastfeeding. I’ve filed for emotional separation, but he’s not signing the paperwork.”

BABY: (played by an adult in a baby onesie with a pacifier, dramatically crawling)
“Ma… We need to talk… One last sip?”

MOM: (clutching her chest)
“NO! These nipples are closed for business! It’s OVER, Jamari! You’re 3 and know your ABCs. You don’t need the boob anymore!”

BABY: (fake crying, then whispering)
“But… what about our bond? The midnight snacks? The 4am cuddles?”

MOM:
“You bit me last night, Jamari! You B-I-T me! I got PTSD from your two front teeth!”

[CUT TO CONFESSIONAL CAM – MOM]
MOM: (sipping tea)
“Every time I wear a tank top, he thinks it’s Happy Hour. I can’t even do yoga without him jumping on me like I’m a protein shake.”

[CUT TO CONFESSIONAL CAM – BABY]
BABY: (arms crossed)
“She fake. She used to love me suckling… now she hiding her boobs like state secrets.”

MOM: (stands up and announces)
“I’m reclaiming my tatas! These milk jugs are going back in the fridge!”

BABY: (runs to grab a lawyer doll)
“Fine. I’ll see you in toddler court.”

ENDING SCENE:
🎵 Fade out to “I Will Survive” instrumental
Text: “Weaning is war… but mama will win.”