By Antoinette  Johnson

EPISODE 9: “Oouu After They Smash, They Ghost”

Title: “Now You Wanna Vanish After I Gave You All That Juicy?”

—

Opening Scene: Dark room. Neon lights. Confession booth style.

Your voice comes through like sexy judgment day.

YOU (Host):
“They said they wanted love.
They begged for attention.
But the moment they got the cookie… poof.
Gone like a Cash App refund.”

—

FORMAT: TRUE STORIES – THREE SEGMENTS

(Each guest tells a hilarious, petty, and painfully true ghosting story.)

—

SEGMENT 1: Cardi B – “The One Night Rapper”

Cardi:
“So boom, I met this rapper at an event. He said I was ‘the realest vibe he ever felt.’
We had drinks, we vibed, we smashed… and the next morning?”

Camera zooms on her face.

Cardi:
“HE BLOCKED ME ON EVERYTHING… but posted my elbow in his Story like I wouldn’t notice.”

YOU:
“Not the elbow!”

Cardi:
“Man’s said he was ‘healing from a breakup.’ Boy, you just broke my WiFi!”

—

SEGMENT 2: Tommie Lee – “The Spiritual Ghoster”

Tommie:
“This man had crystals, sage, and a peace necklace. Talkin’ ‘bout he don’t believe in soul ties…”

YOU:
“…But made one with you, huh?”

Tommie:
“Girl, we had ONE NIGHT of fireworks. He left a hoodie and a half-smoked blunt.”

YOU:
“That’s the ghost starter pack.”

Tommie:
“Then I found out he moved to ATL and got a baby on the way. From a girl named Chakra. I CAN’T.”

—

SEGMENT 3: Remy Ma – “The Disappearing Diner”

Remy Ma:
“I cooked. I cleaned. I wore my lil Savage Fenty robe.
He said ‘this the best night of my life.’
Then… he said he was goin’ to the store for some ginger ale and NEVER. CAME. BACK.”

YOU:
“Ginger ale though? The audacity be sparkling.”

Remy:
“I tracked his Cash App — found out he sent the new girl a DoorDash from MY HOUSE.”

—

SURPRISE TWIST: Ghosters Show Up

You bring in the actual men behind the ghosting stories to explain themselves — blindfolded.

YOU:
“Say your piece, but know… we got receipts AND security.”

Ghoster #1:
“I ghosted Cardi because I knew I wasn’t worthy.”

Cardi:
“You weren’t even wifi-worthy.”

Ghoster #2:
“I was scared of Tommie’s power.”

Tommie:
“And you should STILL be.”

Ghoster #3:
“Remy’s meal was too good. I knew I’d get addicted.”

Remy:
“I hope you hungry now. Starve.”

—

Closing Scene: All the queens sipping wine, unbothered.

YOU (Host):
“Ladies… if he ghosted you after getting that good good,
Don’t chase. Don’t text.
Just glow up so loud his spirit starts shaking.”

DENNIS REED pops in holding a microphone:
“I’m turning this episode into a Tubi musical. Watch for the drop.”

—

Caption:
“When he ghosts, tell the story — and leave out nothing.”

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