By Antoinette Johnson

OOUU! AFTER DARK BY ANTOINETTE JOHNSON

Title: “You Lost a Wife, I Gained a Championship Ring.”

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Scene Opens: Oouu After Dark Studio

Dim red lights. Champagne popping. The couch is giving bougie drama.

YOU (Host):
“Tonight, we got two queens in the building who don’t play about love, loyalty, or labels…
Give it up for Cardi B and Tommie Lee!”

(Cardi walks in chewing gum, nails sharp. Tommie walks in in all black like she ready for war.)

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SEGMENT 1: Cardi’s Closure, Tommie’s Smoke

YOU:
“So Cardi, Offset still talkin’ online. Said you ‘jumped ship too fast.’ Thoughts?”

Cardi (laughing):
“Jumped ship? Nah, baby… I upgraded cruise lines. My new man don’t cheat — he trains.”

Tommie:
“And mine don’t lie — he disappears. But that’s okay, ‘cause I brought receipts today.”
(Pulls out screenshots on laminated cards. Studio gasps.)

YOU:
“Not laminated!”

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SEGMENT 2: Surprise NFL Bae Entrance

Suddenly, the audience goes wild — Cardi’s NFL boyfriend walks in with roses and a big grin.

NFL BAE:
“Sorry to interrupt, babe… but I got a ring for the realest one in the room.”
(Hands Cardi a small box — not a proposal, just a promise ring with diamonds so bright it reflects on the mic.)

Cardi (fake crying):
“You see this?! THIS is what loyalty look like… not mixtapes and baby bottles!”

—

OFFSET VIDEO MESSAGE PLAYS ON SCREEN

Offset (in a hoodie):
“I’m done talking. She chose clout. I chose peace.”

Tommie (clapping back):
“You chose hoes who couldn’t spell peace!”

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SEGMENT 3: The Gangsta Girl Roundtable

You, Tommie, and Cardi sit up with mimosas, talk relationships, healing, and revenge glow-ups.

Tommie:
“When I stopped texting back, I started leveling up.”

Cardi:
“When I stopped fighting for him, I started winning for me.”

YOU:
“Oouuu… that’s a t-shirt, a caption, and a whole mood.”

DENNIS REED pops out of the camera corner like:
“And a Tubi movie! Y’all better not forget who directing this heat.”

—

Closing Shot:

All three of y’all laughing, sipping, and watching the NFL bae give Cardi a foot rub while Offset’s IG story says: “Unbothered. But lowkey hurting.”

—

Caption:
“Some men fumble queens… others build em thrones. Know the difference.”

Hashtags:
#OouuAfterTheyFightTheyMakeUp #CardiAndTommieUnbothered #OffsetStillTyping #NFLbaeWon #DennisReedOnTubi #RealityDundidItAgain