By Antoinette Johnson

EPISODE 35: “Aliens in the Audience: The Intergalactic Review of Earth’s Energy”

Sub-title: Because sometimes you need a vibe check from another galaxy.

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INT. THE CELESTIAL OBSERVATION DECK – OUTER SPACE

A floating, ultra-glam spaceship arena hovers above Earth. Inside: aliens from multiple galaxies, all seated like critics at the Met Gala. They wear glowing robes, floating headpieces, and record their reactions telepathically.

SIGN ABOVE STAGE:
“EARTH: SEASON 4,998 — LIVE PERFORMANCE REVIEW”

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ALIEN JUDGING PANEL:

ZYNTA (Andromedan High Priestess): Compassion frequency reader.

GLIP (Tiny Martian Blogger): Obsessed with human tea.

RAHLOK (Jupiter Council of Justice): Grades on soul vibrations.

KYRA-9 (Artificial Angel from Saturn): Can detect fake spiritual influencers in 0.3 seconds.

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EARTH’S INTRODUCTION VIDEO PLAYS

Highlights include:

TikTok dances

Humanity arguing about which water is best

Reality TV fights

Soul survivors dancing barefoot in the rain

Antoinette speaking truth into the void

Cardi B saying “okurrr” in 12 dimensions

ZYNTA (whispers):
“They still consume cheese… and think money is real?”

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PERFORMANCES BEGIN – THE REAL EARTH TALENT

A spoken word prophet from Kenya ignites the sky with words about healing and colonization.

A breakdancer from the Bronx moves so raw it disrupts satellite frequencies.

A little girl from Haiti sings so pure, three alien judges start crying galaxy glitter.

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SPECIAL EARTH AMBASSADOR: ANTOINETTE

She enters on a beam of gold light, holding the RC Coin scroll, her aura brighter than a supernova in hoop earrings.

ANTOINTETTE:
“I know y’all been watching. Yes, we messy. Yes, we loud. But we love. We dance. We evolve. We ain’t perfect, but we still divine.”

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GLIP (the messy Martian blogger):

“She ate. That’s Earth’s queen. I’m subscribing to her dimension.”

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RAHLOK:

“Final energy rating: Earth is a C+… but their souls? A+ when aligned.”

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CLOSING SCENE: ALIEN REMIX PARTY

After the judging, Antoinette throws a galactic block party on the ship.

Burna Boy, Rosalía, and Bad Bunny perform with Saturn DJs.

Left Eye raps while floating upside down.

An alien band covers “Return of the Mack” in Andromedan beat frequencies.