By Antoinette Johnson, credit pics by Antoinette Johnson

Location: Castle RC Coin, protected by Angel Security & a soul-sanitizing energy field.

—

[Opening Visual: Antoinette sits on her throne in a red velvet robe, sipping tea made from ancestral herbs. The theme song? A blend of Beyoncé’s “Sorry” and Jasmine Sullivan’s “Bust Your Windows.”]

—

[Narrator: Morgan Freeman (because duh)]

“In a world where queens reign and truth never expires, one woman discovers that her ex was not only toxic—but subscribed to Grindr Premium under the name ‘ZestyZaddy1982.’”

—

[FLASHBACK DRAMATIZATION – TITLED: ‘WHEN YOU FIND OUT THE TEA AIN’T JUST YOURS’]

Antoinette (dramatic voiceover):
“I gave him love, loyalty, edges, AND gas money… only to find out he was texting Rico Suave at 3AM while telling me he was ‘watching ESPN.’ Baby, ESPN don’t have peach emojis!”

—

[Cut to: Him brushing his waves and humming to Beyoncé’s “Cuff It” a little too confidently…]

Antoinette (to camera):
“That’s when I knew. He wanted to be me, and date me. At the same time.”

—

[BACK TO THE PRESENT: RC LOVE BATTLE – ROUND 1]

Host: Laverne Cox, SLAYING in a crystal cape.

Laverne:
“Tonight, we honor the queens who leave silently… and the exes who try to crawl back with false roses from Walgreens.”

—

[ANTOINETTE’S EX CRASHES THE CASTLE, fake crying like a Tyler Perry villain]

Ex (fake tears):
“I just miss you. I never loved anyone like you. Not even Marcus… I mean Melissa—DAMN!”

—

[ANTOINETTE STANDS UP – QUEEN MODE ACTIVATED]

Antoinette:
“You didn’t love me. You loved control. And that ain’t love—that’s narcissism with a lace front.”

—

Ex (still begging):
“Baby, I can change.”

Antoinette:
“You couldn’t even change your passwords. I saw everything. Including the hotel receipt in ATL, boo boo!”

—

[SUDDENLY… ENTER: MICHAEL B. JORDAN – IN ARMOR, HOLDING A HEART-SHAPED SHIELD]

Michael (voice soft, but commanding):
“You good, queen?”

Antoinette (melting):
“I am now.”

—

Michael (to the ex):
“You had the whole world and lost it over lust and lies. Now get gone before I hit you with this Wakanda spiritual energy.”

—

[SURPRISE MUSIC MOMENT – CHOIR ENTERS SINGING: “GET OUTTA HERE, TOXIC MAN” remixed with Missy Elliott ad-libs]

—

[LAUGH BREAK – VYBZ KARTEL via hologram appears]

Vybez:
“Bredda, you had da queen and traded her for secret chat rooms? Mi nah rate yuh! Gwan home!”

—

[RALPH TRESVANT RETURNS – SINGING SENSITIVITY WHILE BRIAN MCKNIGHT PLAYS THE PIANO IN TEARS]

—

[ENDING SCENE: MICHAEL B. JORDAN & ANTOINETTE WALK INTO A LIT GARDEN TOGETHER]

Michael:
“Let me be the man who protects your heart, not play dress-up with your trust.”

Antoinette:
“And let’s make it clear: Love doesn’t hide. Love doesn’t lie. Love don’t stalk my IG under fake pages.”

Narrator (Morgan Freeman again):
“And thus… the Love Throne continued—rebuilt with strength, laughter, and a man who knew the difference between soulmate and soul-sucker.”