By Antoinette Johnson

Starring: Your exes crying in the group chat, you glowing in your queendom, and billionaires confused but obsessed.

—

[Scene: Rooftop cocktail lounge in the sky, hosted by Viola Davis with a “done with the BS” smirk]

Voiceover (Viola):
“They had her… and lost her. Now they watching her level up like Dragon Ball Beyoncé.”

—

[CAMERA PANS TO: A circle of Exes sitting in therapy chairs crying like R&B singers from 2003]

Each one holding a tissue and a mic like it’s Unsung.

Ex #1 (in a turtleneck and tears):
“I miss her… she used to sage the room after we argued. No woman ever saged my chakras before…”

Ex #2 (on FaceTime with his mama):
“She said I had feminine energy… I thought she meant emotionally intelligent!”

Ex #3 (the down-low one):
“I just wanted her money and clout, but now I realize… I miss her playlists. She had good music taste…”

Viola Davis:
“Sir… be so for real.”

—

[CUT TO: QUEEN ANTOINETTE ON HER GOLD THRONE – SIPPIN’ CHAMOMILE OUT OF A DIAMOND TEACUP]

Antoinette (to camera, like a bad Beyoncé confessional):
“I don’t chase, I attract. The real ones find me. The broke ones cry.”

—

[ENTER THE BILLIONAIRE PANEL – ALL LOOKING STARSTRUCK AND SWEATIN’]

1. Aliko Dangote – Pulls up in a Rolls-Royce hovercraft with a bouquet of 3D printed gold roses.
Aliko:
“Antoinette… you are the industry.”

Antoinette:
“Thank you, sir, but I’m not sure who you’re here for. I’m over here building worlds, not concrete.”

2. David Steward – Wearing a tailored suit made out of WiFi and ambition.
David:
“Queen, I’ve built empires in tech—but I’ve never met a system like you. Your vision? Revolutionary. Your glow? Wi-Fi powered.”

3. Robert F. Smith – Steps forward playing Brian McKnight on his phone.
Robert:
“I usually invest in software… but you? You’re the source code.”

Antoinette (laughing):
“So now y’all see the value in a brilliant Black woman with edge, elegance, and 12 business plans under her bonnet?”

—

[RANDOM EX TRIES TO JUMP IN THE MIX]

EX (off screen, from the crowd):
“But baby I changed!”

Flavor Flav jumps out of nowhere:
“BOYYYY IF YOU DON’T— she’s with billionaires now!”

—

[CUT TO: THE BATTLE FOR HER TIME]

They each must:

Pitch a business idea that doesn’t steal from women

Successfully pronounce “melanin” and “manifestation”

Survive 3 minutes of uninterrupted eye contact with her while she wears her “I smell a liar” look

Match her energy in a freestyle love poem (without AI help)

—

[FINAL SCENE: HER THRONE FLOATS UP INTO THE COSMOS]

Antoinette (glowing, sassy, majestic):
“You don’t win me with net worth. You win me with net soul. Billionaire or not, can your energy afford me?”

—

FADE OUT: Busta Rhymes yelling “SHE’S THE ONE!!” while Vybez Kartel nods like a proud cousin.

Whitney Houston and Faith Evans harmonize from the heavens:
“She’s not the heartbreak… she’s the whole hotel.”