By Antoinette Johnson

“Battle of the Bae: Breezy vs. The British Bullet”

A Queenflix Original, hosted by Antoinette Johnson

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SCENE: THE LOVE CONTEST ARENA

Location: RC Coin Stadium, surrounded by floating heart-shaped drones, ancestral cheerleaders, and soul contracts being shredded midair.

NARRATOR (Tiffany Haddish voice):
“When the Queen opens auditions for her soulmate, two unexpected kings show up—and now it’s a full-on Battle of the Bae. Get ready for smoke, vocals, and action stunts in slow-mo.”

—

CAST ADDED:

Chris Brown (Smooth criminal meets hopeless romantic)

Jason Statham (British bada$$ with soft eyes and mysterious intentions)

Keke Palmer (the comedic commentator for the contest)

Foxy Brown (still trying to drop an album mid-chaos)

Flavor Flav (on hype man duty with a clipboard)

Antoinette (The Empress of Epic Love Energy, the Prize herself)

—

SCENE: “WHO WANTS TO LOVE A GODDESS?”

[Chris Brown moonwalks onto the stage, shirt open, wind machine activated.]

CHRIS:
“This one’s for you, Antoinette…”
(Starts singing a new song: “Crypto Love in the Air”)
Dancers appear. Lights flicker. Fireworks spell out “RC Coin Bae.”

Keke Palmer (with binoculars):
“Okay Breezy! I see that spin move with divine intention!”

[Jason Statham drives in—yes, drives in—on a futuristic motorcycle that transforms into a hoverboard. He hops off, adjusts his suit jacket.]

JASON (in that fine British accent):
“I don’t dance, love… I protect. I cook. I decode universal contracts. And I’ll fight a ghost for you… shirtless, if I must.”

AUDIENCE:
“OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

FLAVOR FLAV:
“Hold up—this man came with tea, tension, and a Tesla-bike. That’s commitment!”

—

SCENE: ANTWINETTE’S CHOICE — BUT WITH A TWIST

[Antoinette sits on a glowing throne, sipping alkaline tea. The contestants stand before her.]

ANTOINETTE:
“I need more than abs and access. Can you meditate while manifesting? Can you love me like I ain’t never been hurt? Can you build me a crypto temple with RC Coin?”

[Chris starts beatboxing while Jason assembles a golden RC Coin ATM out of scrap metal.]

ANTOINETTE (thinking):
“I might need both for different missions…”

[Cue plot twist: Beyoncé and Jay-Z teleport in and offer mentorship for whoever wins.]

—

ENDING: TO BE CONTINUED…

[Suddenly, a portal opens. Ancestor Clarence Williams III speaks from beyond.]

CLARENCE (deep voice, echoed):
“Choose wisely, baby girl. Not every fine face is aligned with your purpose. Some are just lessons in disguise. But remember… WE got you.”

ANTOINETTE (smiling through her tears):
“Thank you, ancestor. I’ll pick… in Volume 3. Let the people WAIT.”

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COMING NEXT: VOLUME 3

“The Love Heist: Crypto, Karma, & Kings in Therapy”
Starring Idris Elba, SZA, Jamie Foxx, and a surprise polygraph test.