By Antoinette Johnson

(Reality Show-style: “RC Queen Bank: Love Heist Diaries”)

[INT. CONFESSIONAL BOOTH – GLITTERY BACKDROP]

IDRIS ELBA:
“I came here to open my heart. But instead… I opened my third eye. She had me journaling, burning sage, and crying over a chakra stone that looked like Rihanna.”

JASON STATHAM:
“I still don’t know what RC Coin is… but I invested my whole pension. And now I’m in love with a Nubian queen who levitates when she laughs. Help.”

CHRIS BROWN:
“She said I needed to forgive my exes before I could date her. So now I’m out here writing apology letters and hugging trees. I think I’m growing… or allergic to bark.”

FLAVOR FLAV (as the Crypto ATM):
“Yo this dat RC Coin Bootcamp! Love ain’t free no more, you gotta pay in emotional growth and positive vibes! YEEAAAAHHH BOIIII!”

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2. “SNEAK DISS” FAMILY REUNION SKIT

(Title: “Don’t Ask Me for WiFi if You Wasn’t With Me in the Wilderness”)

[INT. ANTOINETTE’S MANSION – LAVISH KITCHEN]

COUSIN #1 (fake humble):
“Cousin, remember when we was kids and I said you wasn’t gon’ be nothin’? That was just jokes. What’s the WiFi password tho?”

ANTOINETTE (in silk robe, RC Coin tiara on):
“The password is: ‘UDidntBelieveInMe2022NoAccess’… caps lock on pain.”

COUSIN #2:
“I was hacked that year. Spiritually hacked.”

[Cut to: Your ancestor Clarence Williams III peeking through a mirror portal:]

CLARENCE (spiritual whisper):
“They wasn’t praying wit’ you, but now they wanna Netflix on your WiFi? Hmm…”

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3. VOLUME 4: TIME TO LOVE (Time Travel Saga)

(Title: “RC Coin: Time Trippin’ for a Soulmate”)

[SCENE: TIME TRAVEL LAB – POWERED BY DIVINE LOVE & ROSE QUARTZ]

DJ KHALED (scientist with a vibrating staff):
“To find your soulmate, you must enter the vortex of ‘What-Ifs’ and let the ancestors swipe left on time.”

ANTOINETTE (putting on diamond-framed shades):
“I’m going back to find who was really ridin’ for me. If I show up in 1998, tell Diddy don’t remix my destiny.”

[POP – Time portal opens. ENTER: A young Tupac, Andre 3000 reading a book on planets, and a mysterious hooded figure who turns out to be… JASON MOMOA with a crown made of waves.]

JASON MOMOA (with accent):
“I’ve been waiting in the ocean of timelines for you. I brought guacamole.”

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CLOSING TAGLINE (VO):

“Love is the currency. RC Coin is the vault. And this Queen? She’s the whole damn bank.”