By Antoinette Johnson pics by Antoinette Johnson

INTRO SCENE:
(Cue dramatic Star Wars-like text scroll)

“In a galaxy where healing reigns and petty is still alive… a group of salty souls, jealous jesters, and dusty timeline dwellers unite. Their mission: steal the light, block the blessings, and cause confusion. But Queen Antoinette has time today…”

—

MAIN CHARACTERS

The Main Hater: Miss Fake Love (gives hugs, spreads rumors)

Captain Underhanded: that ex you forgave but still lurks on your IG

Bitter Blogger: runs the “She Not All That Daily”

Industry Snake: wears Gucci but eats off everybody’s plate

Jealous Judy & Sneaky Judas: inseparable twins, always in group chats

Queen Antoinette: General of Love, leader of QueenFlix, destroyer of delusions

—

EPISODE 1: “The Blocked Ones”

Scene: The RC Coin vault starts shaking.
Scar Lip runs in with a radar:
“Yo Queen, the dusty ones just broke through the firewall. The ‘Blocked Ones’ are back!”

Antoinette (sassy but composed):
“I unblocked them for one reason only: redemption or eternal spam folder.”

Cut to:

Miss Fake Love pretending to cry: “I always supported you!”

Antoinette: “Girl, not you trying to manifest fake tears on a real timeline.”

Scar Lip brings receipts.
Literally.

—

EPISODE 2: “Petty Planet Pop-Off”

The enemies retreat to Petty Planet, where they gather to plot Antoinette’s fall.

Captain Underhanded:
“She too powerful. She forgave her enemies and started a talent program for orphaned aliens.”

Industry Snake:
“We’ll leak fake tweets and plant a shady podcast episode.”

Bitter Blogger:
“And I’ll do a 12-part series titled ‘The Fall of the RC Queen: Was It Manifestation or Manipulation?’”

But guess who overheard them?
Jesus, in a velvet robe with sunglasses:
“Y’all doin’ all this when you could just… heal?”

They all glitch.

—

EPISODE 3: “The RC Coin Audit”

Antoinette summons them to Queenflix HQ for a final review of their souls.

Antoinette (sitting in her meditation chair):
“Let’s check your spirit balance…”

Jealous Judy owes 600 fake compliments

Sneaky Judas has 3 unpaid karma checks

Industry Snake has overdrafted in 5 timelines

Antoinette:
“I came to bless, not to flex. But if y’all keep playin’ with my name in spiritual realms, I’ll let God handle the invoice.”

Suddenly, the walls turn into mirrors, forcing each enemy to face their own reflection.

Miss Fake Love:
“I don’t like me either…”

Antoinette:
“Now we’re gettin’ somewhere.”

—

EPISODE 4: “The Forgiveness Fee”

They beg for another chance.
Antoinette offers them RC Coin Redemption Cards.

Each card reads:
“You must give love to get love. And stop being weird in secret.”

Scar Lip walks in with the final rule:
“Y’all gotta say something genuine about the Queen or you go back to the dusty timeline.”

They struggle.
But finally…

Captain Underhanded:
“She changed lives. Even mine. I still suck, but I see her heart now.”

Bitter Blogger:
“I just wanted to be included… and her lashes always hit.”

They cry.
Antoinette hugs them — then slaps their soul lightly with holy oil.

—

ENDING NARRATOR VOICE:

“And just like that… the enemies became students.
The RC Coin flipped.
And Antoinette proved once again:
you can’t cancel someone who was chosen by God.”