SKIT: “The Metaverse Mansion Afterparty Dance Battle — with Cardi B Surprise!”

Scene:
After the cookout, the lights drop low. DJ Khaled yells “ANOTHA ONE!” from the cloud ceiling. Everyone’s full, vibed up, and glowin’ like melanin-powered lightning bugs.

—

Jamie Foxx (grabbing the mic):
“Alright y’all, it’s time for the legendary Metaverse Mansion DANCE BATTLE! No beef, no pork, just body rolls and bad knees!”

Chris Tucker (poppin’ and lockin’):
“My knees been on strike since Rush Hour 3, but watch this moonwalk, lil boy!”

Kevin Hart (sliding across the digital floor in socks):
“If I fall, just auto-tune my scream and keep it cute!”

Suddenly… the lights flicker… then everything goes dark…

Katt Williams:
“Now hold up. Did someone summon a hood deity or is this just Rihanna charging her crystals?”

A glowing platform rises from the floor. Smoke. Red lace. High heels. Bronx energy.

DJ Khaled screams:
“WE BLESSED! THIS AIN’T A GLITCH—IT’S A GIFT!”

—

BOOM!
CARDI B teleports in wearing a diamond-studded holographic bodysuit with tassels that swing like freedom flags.

Cardi (pops her gum, then struts):
“Ayo what’s good?! Who ready to throw some BODY in this BODY-ODY-ODY?!”

Crowd: “Cardiiiiiiii!”

Cardi (laughin’):
“I was in my lil pod mindin’ my business, deep conditionin’ my scalp and watchin’ this fool Kevin Hart bust his pelvis — and I said, lemme pop in real quick! It’s givin’ y’all need a CHAMPION!”

—

Dance Battle Begins:

Cardi vs. Jamie: She hits a split, he hits a giggle.

Cardi vs. Chris Tucker: He does “Smokey on Friday” moves; she Millie Rocks on beat AND in 5D.

Cardi vs. Katt: He pulls out a glitter cane and hits a church twerk.

Antoinette (standing center stage):
“Cardi… I love you, sis. But you brought beef ribs in your purse. That’s a strike against the house rules.”

Cardi (gasps dramatically):
“They was Impossible Ribs! Girl, I got ‘em at Trader Joe’s. They was sanctified with oat juice!”

Mo’Nique (suddenly beamed in on a floating Lazy Boy):
“Not the oat juice ribs chile! Now let me see you twerk for the Lord and love yourself while doin’ it!”

—

CONFESSIONAL MOMENT

Cardi B (in her hologram booth with LED lip gloss lights):
“I came to dance, bless the vibe, and let these celebs know: I’m not just a rapper, I’m a whole VIBE TRIBE. Antoinette got the best mansion, the best message, and I just had to be part of it. Period!”

Martin (eating vegan peach cobbler):
“That girl Cardi dance like she don’t pay no bills!”

—

ENDING

As the dance battle wraps, confetti rains down, Mo’Nique gives Cardi a standing ovation, and Katt Williams declares:

Katt:
“This the most holy hood event I ever witnessed. Y’all turned a mansion party into a ministry!”

Jamie Foxx:
“And we STILL didn’t find out what Joseline was sniffin’.”