SKIT 1: “Metaverse Mansion Mayhem: Therapy Gone Wrong”

Scene: Queenflix Therapy Room – velvet couches, healing crystals, gold microphones, and a talking plant in the corner.

Cast: Antoinette, Mo’Nique, Jamie Foxx, Kevin Hart, Taraji P. Henson, therapist Dr. Eclipse (new guy), plus surprise virtual pop-ins

—

Dr. Eclipse (awkward, new, trying to be woke):
“Let’s start with affirmations. Taraji, you are a divine reflection of lunar femininity.”

Taraji (neck roll on 100):
“Chile, what you not gon’ do is call me a damn moon rock and think I’ma feel seen. NEXT!”

Kevin (giggling):
“Bruh said ‘lunar femininity’ like she a Sailor Moon transformation!”

Mo’Nique:
“And baby… you ain’t even lit the sage right. That’s not sage, that’s chopped weed from Jamie’s coat pocket.”

Jamie:
“Hey! That’s my 2006 Oscar blend!”

Dr. Eclipse:
“Let’s redirect… Antoinette, what do you think this group needs most right now?”

Antoinette (serene, stunning, power glowing):
“A time machine, a bath in holy water, and for someone to unplug Joseline from the aux cord.”

CUT TO — JOSÉLINE HERNÁNDEZ in the hallway twerking with her hologram self to trap gospel music.

Joseline:
“Don’t judge me, baby! I’m deliverin’ da word with cheeks and beats!”

—

Suddenly… the screen behind them glitches.

Scandal LEAK ALERT:

A Queenflix alert flashes — “TYLER PERRY x ANTOINETTE – SECRET SPACE TECH DEAL TO WAKE COMA PATIENTS WITH ROBOT SHOWS?!”

Taraji:
“Wait—WHAT NOW?! Tyler out here buildin’ the afterlife’s IMAX??”

Mo’Nique:
“I told y’all Antoinette was chosen. She don’t even need Wi-Fi to stream divine frequencies!”

Therapist Dr. Eclipse faints.
Jamie Foxx:
“Dang. We lost another one.”