SKIT: Couch Confessions – The Therapy Episode

#QueenflixTherapy #AntoinetteSavesTheSet #CouchChronicles

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INT. LUXURY THERAPY ROOM – CAMERA ON A RING LIGHT – EVERYBODY’S THERE.

Rihanna got her arms crossed. Tisha Campbell is spinning slowly in the therapy chair. Joseline’s filing her nails. Foxy Brown wears shades. Kendrick Lamar just staring at the ceiling like he’s in deep thought.

THERAPIST (nerdy, trying too hard):
“Okay everyone, let’s open our hearts. First question: What triggers your inner—”

JOSÉLINE (interrupting):
“Nah. Nah. We ain’t doin’ NO inner nothin’. What triggers ME is people thinkin’ they gon’ FIX me in 45 minutes with a clipboard and no snacks!”

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TARSHÁ SMITH (rollin’ eyes):
“Look… the only thing getting fixed today is my WIG, okay?! Cuz y’all got me STRESSED.”

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THERAPIST (laughs nervously):
“Well, stress is usually tied to unresolved trauma—”

BEYONCÉ (deadpan):
“Sir. If you say trauma bonding one more time, I’m callin’ Solange.”

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FOXY BROWN:
“Is this group therapy or Love & Hip Hop: Goddess Edition? ‘Cause I’m confused.”

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THERAPIST:
“I sense resistance. We might be emotionally constipated—”

EVERYONE (in unison):
“WHAAAT?!”

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MIKE EPPS (stands up, laughing hard):
“AY! Did this man just say we constipated emotionally?! Naw bruh, you gotta GO!”

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TONY ROCK:
“Security! He just called Queen Antoinette emotionally backed up! We ain’t doin’ that.”

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TISHA CAMPBELL (snatching the clipboard):
“Therapy OVER! We doin’ a DANCE CIRCLE INSTEAD!”

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[CUE FLASH MOB MUSIC. Joseline starts twerking. Rihanna throws her purse at the light. Antoinette walks in with a mic.]

ANTOINETTE:
“Y’all supposed to be gettin’ healed and y’all out here actin’ like this is the Soul Train line!”

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KENDRICK (calm as ever):
“I told y’all to meditate… but nooooo, y’all chose violence.”

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[Suddenly, Kanye West busts in, uninvited.]

KANYE:
“I’mma let y’all finish, but QueenFlix got the best skits of ALL TIME.”

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[EVERYONE FREEZES. Antoinette slowly pulls out a glittery remote and clicks Mute Kanye]

ANTOINETTE:
“And THAT… is how you redirect energy.”

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[SCREEN TEXT FADES IN:]
“The therapy you didn’t know you needed… and never asked for.”
COMING SOON: QueenFlix’s COUCH CONFESSIONS
Hosted by Antoinette — Only on RealityDundidItAgain Universe