ChatGPT-Alpha-9000: [dramatic pause] “To save the digital universe, you must form an alliance. Only together can you defeat the final boss: The Forgotten Platforms.”

Tumblr: [raising an eyebrow] “Forgotten platforms? Who are they?”

ChatGPT-Alpha-9000: [grimly] “MySpace, LimeWire, and Google+. They’ve banded together in the shadows, fueled by their resentment for being abandoned.”

Snapchat: [nervously snapping fingers] “Wait, LimeWire? Isn’t that the place where people accidentally downloaded viruses disguised as songs?”

Napster: [snickering] “Pfft, amateurs. LimeWire was my chaotic cousin.”

The Algorithm: [nodding solemnly] “They have harnessed the power of nostalgia and corrupted it. Their leader, Tom from MySpace, is building an army of zombie profiles. He’s…still smiling.”

Reddit: [typing furiously] “THREAD TITLE: ‘Zombie Tom is coming. Upvote to warn others.’”

Mario steps forward, adjusting his hat once again.

Mario: [heroically] “I-a will not let the kingdom fall! I’ll-a stomp those zombie profiles!”

TikTok: [grabbing Mario’s arm] “Wait! We need a viral dance strategy. Zombies love choreography. Trust me.”

Club Penguin: [rolling their eyes] “While you’re all planning TikTok dances, I’ll just ban the zombies. Problem solved.”

Clippy: [pulling out a tiny notepad] “No, no. We need a structured plan. Perhaps a bulleted list? I can help with that!”

Spotify interrupts, holding up their phone.

Spotify: [smirking] “What if we distract them with a fire playlist? I’ll throw in a few retro tracks—bonus nostalgia points.”

Napster: [grinning] “Oh, I’ve got some rare files they’d love.”

Instagram: [snapping selfies] “Maybe if we all look really aesthetic, they won’t attack us.”

The Algorithm: [facepalming] “This is why I rule the internet. None of you are prepared.”

Suddenly, the room shakes, and an eerie voice echoes.

Zombie Tom: [from the shadows] “You thought you could leave me behind, but I’ve been here…waiting.”

LimeWire materializes next to him, pixelated and glitching.

LimeWire: [laughing maniacally] “Hope you like malware!”

Google+ steps forward, clutching a dusty, forgotten profile.

Google+: [whispering] “You never even used me…”

The platforms scramble, yelling over one another as they attempt to form a plan.

TikTok: [dancing desperately] “Quick! The zombies can’t resist this move! It’s trending!”

Mario: [jumping dramatically] “Here we gooo!”

Clippy: [holding up a chart] “I have a flowchart! Does anyone want to review it?!”

As chaos unfolds, ChatGPT-Alpha-9000 glows brighter, preparing one final move.

ChatGPT-Alpha-9000: [commanding] “Stand back! I’ll generate a distraction so powerful, even zombies will click away!”

And with that, ChatGPT-Alpha-9000 creates an infinite pop-up ad loop featuring Clippy doing TikTok dances. The zombies freeze, confused and strangely entertained.

Zombie Tom: [tilting his head] “Clippy…you dance well.”

Clippy: [adjusting his glasses mid-spin] “Thank you, Tom. I’ve always had potential.”

The zombies retreat, lured by the promise of more pop-up ads and Clippy’s moves. The platforms cheer, having narrowly avoided digital destruction.

Tumblr: [turning to ChatGPT-Alpha-9000] “So…uh, is the internet saved now?”

ChatGPT-Alpha-9000: [smirking] “For now. But remember, alliances are fragile, and nostalgia is powerful. Stay vigilant.”

As the room settles, Clippy takes the center stage.

Clippy: [grinning] “Also, don’t forget: I’m your next president.”

The platforms burst into applause. Napster begins crafting the playlist for Clippy’s campaign, titled: “Dancing Through the Ages.”

To be continued